11:11

11:11

For months - I saw (and still do) see 11:11 on the clock. EVERY time I checked the time. Morning or night - it was 11:11. Crazy, right? Why on earth did I keep seeing 11:11? I prayed about it. Searched the word. Prayed some more. Randomly brought it up to some friends to see if they had any revelation - but I got nothing. And the more I pondered it the more I thought maybe it means something is going to happen in November?  On November 11th maybe? I quickly pulled up the calendar on my phone to see what day of the week it is - hmm, thats a monday, can't be anything special happening on a monday, right? 

Time continued to pass by (no pun intended) and I continued to see 11:11 on the clock. Never failed. every day - check the time, yep. its 11:11. (by now one would ask why I would bother to check the clock cause I would know its 11:11, no need to look, right?) haha. 

Meanwhile - as I didn't get any great revelation from the Lord about 11:11, I was sensing Him calling me to Him. As in, giving my full attention to Him so that I can realize just how much He fully loves me. (bear with me) I was lamenting to the Father quite often, "why can't I be married? where is my husband? You know I want kids... why aren't relationships developing the way I want them to, or the way I thought they were going to? blah blah blah... I just wanna be loved."  and thats where He stopped me. "But Kristi, you ARE loved. I love you more than you can imagine. Let me show you".  Stunned. I just stopped, and pondered those words let me show you. let me SHOW you.
Show me? How was He going to show me? Now, let me just stop and say that I have experienced God's love MANY MANY times - and that this concept of showing me His love is not foreign to me. So, I thought that this wasn't something new I needed to experience - if that makes sense, so I was a tad taken aback.  Hesitantly responding I said "okay Lord, show me. I want to experience you in a new way".

Also during this time, I changed jobs; moved; took on more responsibility at church by overseeing a team of sunday school teachers (which entails, meetings, organizing, contacting/scheduling...); was finishing up semester 3 of our church's discipleship process; had photoshoots almost every weekend and a ton of editing to do (and still do), and meeting up with people on a regular basis as I was selling off the "extry" of things I accumulated in my house. so basically - I was busy. Not to mention every moment of "down time" or even while *gasp* driving (I know I know), I was on facebook.  Leaving NO ROOM for the Father to spend time with me. Or me even asking to spend time with Him.  so I wasn't letting Him show me at all.

I decided (and it was confirmed with nudges from the Holy Spirit) that I needed to let go of some things in my world. We don't have cable in my new house - so letting go of tv (which was usually just background noise for me anyways) wasn't going to be hard to do. but letting go of facebook was.  and He gently said "how bad do you want to know me? is facebook more important?"  so I began mulling over the idea of taking a hiatus, and the more I mulled the more it actually became  a "releasing" emotion... of something I don't have to check everyday. the more I just became "okay" with it. and now I am at the point of "okay, lets just shut this thing down already".  at the same time my thought process was shifting, I was contemplating what else I can let go of - while also being asked to take on more (working PT for a nonprofit, investing in properties...) which was counteracting anything I let go of.

One day I was listening to Air1 at work and their "behind the music" came on and were taking about Thousand Foot Krutch's new song "So Far Gone".  and how the lead singer wrote this as a love song to Jesus. Its a worship song, but its also a raw love song to HIM.   I paused what I was doing at work and thought about that for a bit. and then decided the next time I heard it I was really going to listen to the lyrics.  Sure enough, it gripped me. Hard.  and I proceeded to buy the song through itunes on my phone. (listen to it here) For several days (and still) I have kept it on repeat... just letting the words sink in and really talking to the Father - I want to be so far gone in YOU. I wanna get lost in You ...like a ship in the night. My heart grew. His love penetrating deep within.  and my desire to "unplug" even greater.

I thought it was wise to announce that I was taking a break from fb because of my photography business, and several communications I had going on through my account. And I appreciate everyones concern - as I started to get messages asking if I was okay - and whats going on, and why aren't you doing newborns anymore (which has been a long decision in the making and the timing just seemed to be appropriate for now).   I want to assure you though - that I am fine. and my heart LONGS to be with Jesus. more than it ever has before. and I need this time away from the cyber world most of us live in to really take in and soak in His love.  This is a season. I know it in my spirit - that this is only a season - but a season of LOVE and a journey He wants to take me on.

so what does 11:11 have to do with it? yeah, I was wondering that too. One of our pastors sent an email to the discipleship crew with an encouraging message recently and I replied thanking him for sharing his "mini sermon". and then decided to ask if he had any prophetic revelation on the fact that I kept seeing 11:11.   He said that when he kept seeing those digits, the word alignment came to mind. ALIGNMENT.  right there it is folks. all the one's lined up side by side "perfectly aligned". and he continued to say, the Lord is most likely trying to bring you into a season of alignment with Him.  Well, hello!  YES HE IS.

Alignment was the word I was looking for:

a·lign·ment

  [uh-lahyn-muhnt] 

noun

1.

a state of agreement or cooperation among persons, groups, nations, etc., with a common cause or viewpoint.

And here's the thing. sometimes my heart fills up so much that its going to burst if I don't share whats going on inside and what the Lord is speaking to me... so I am SURE I will be documenting what I am learning (and other random things) and hope it brings encouragement to you.  so be sure to follow if you want to occasionally hear from me.  :)

thanks for taking the time to read - blessings!

Jesus vs.Santa

I was chiming in on a friends facebook status post of a blog she wrote (read it here) and thought I'd share it here on my blog too. 

I was NOT raised in a Christian home. And was taught to believe in santa and his magical abilities to give gifts 1 night a year. I bought into it completely and in fifth grade got into an argument  with a friend who tried to tell me he isn't real. I came home that day from school and questioned my mom "is it true?" To my dismay she confirmed that my friend was right. And then I was told not to say anything to my younger sisters so that I didn't ruin it for them. Talk about disappointment and confusion that I had to keep lying to "bring joy" to my sisters at Christmas time. 

Then, at 18 I was saved - committed my life to Christ - through a friend in high school. After the realization that Christ is all we need - I questioned my friend of why santa was so prominent this time of year when Jesus is the real reason we celebrate this holiday.  I don't remember her answer at the time, but the more I grew in  my faith the more I realized its a tactic of the enemy. 

Christ tells us to have child like faith & at such a young age it was so easy for me to buy into santa. So much that I argued that his falseness was true. And then after I learned the truth there was major confusion when I accepted Christ. CONFUSION IS NOT FROM GOD. The whole santa thing is not a harmful story, but the Bible reminds us that he will disguise himself as an angel. Reaching children THROUGH their parents - to take up residence in their mind about the reason we celebrate this time of year is santa.  He leads them to believe tts all about being good so that you can get lots of toys = earthly treasures. A good enemy would love to distract you from the Truth so that he can come steal, kill, and destroy.

 Really HIS birth is why we celebrate this year - God giving us a Savior - DEFEATING the enemy. We are in the earth, but not OF it.

After learning the truth, I vowed that when I am privileged to have kids of my own that I would not entertain the idea of santa. Kudos to those of you who keep the truth clear this time of year - keep being different. 

JESUS is why we celebrate this time of year. :)

I'd love to hear your thoughts, opinions and experiences, so feel free to share!

Life is Precious

Ever experience a miracle? big? small? and I'm not talking "its a miracle I survived this math test, man that was hard!"  I'm talking a REAL miracle. From God.  My sister Dianna is a walking miracle.

Let me tell you the story. First of all - she's 21. The youngest of the family - and the first one to give my parents grandchildren.  She has a beautiful little girl - Chasity (who I adore as if she was my own) - who at the beginning of June was getting ready to turn two.  In one of my previous posts you saw that I had the privileged of getting to spend the day with Chasity on my birthday.  Turned out - Dianna hadn't been feeling good and so my mom ended up taking her to the hospital for tests. To their surprise they found out she was 5 weeks pregnant.  Hence the nausea and fatigue.  A couple weeks later, she was feeling better and we had Chasity's 2nd birthday party as planned. Friends and family attended - we had cake, swam, and enjoyed the beginning of summer. Life was good.

Dianna on the day of Chasity's birthday party.

Little did we know our lives as a family were about to completely change.

The weeks after that started to spiral downhill - but not to our knowledge.  Dianna had continued to not feel well, with throwing up and not eating, losing weight and becoming dehydrated. She was also having sharp pains in the back of her legs and side. Her husband (Rick) took her to several different doctors who continued to tell her that it was morning sickness and that she needs to keep hydrated.  However, something else was clearly happening.

My parents had left for a cruise, while I was at home to care for the dogs, and since Dianna didn't feel well she stayed with my grandparents while her husband worked in Hummelstown for the week. I just couldn't handle all of them at the house by myself. (blessing #1)

On Wednesday she finally asked my Nan to take her to the hospital cause she just wasn't feeling right. So she took her to Womens & Babies and was admitted.  After several tests they diagnosed her has having walking pneumonia and her left lung was filled with fluid. They began treatment to drain the fluid so that she could breath again - which at this point was clearly not easy for her - and to kill the virus safely without harming the baby growing inside. She showed signs of improvement - breathing became better and said that she should fully recover from the pneumonia.  So the following Tuesday she was discharged from Womens & Babies - being told that she was fine. She was given an inhaler for times where she felt it was hard to breath and antibiotics to take care of the virus.

By then, my parents were home from the cruise, and my mom wanted her to stay with us vs. going back to her apartment while Rick was away (blessing #2) so that we could help take care of her. 

Wednesday morning will forever be etched in my brain. (remember this is the VERY NEXT DAY from being discharged from womens & babies). At the time, I was working just outside of philly - so I had to get up at the butt crack of dawn for work. My least favorite thing to do, but to avoid traffic, it was a must.  However, that morning I was having a hard time getting out of bed (blessing #3) for some reason. I just did not want to get up. So, I decided I was going to be late that day and just didn't care.

By the time I came out of my room, my mom was quietly running around getting herself ready to go for work as well.  I noticed when I got up - Dianna's bedroom door was open and thought to myself that it was odd she was awake so early.  And I thought she was in the bathroom, but when she wasn't, I thought she must have been downstairs.  I started to get myself ready - the usual - brush teeth, washing my face etc. Get a drink.  I heard my mom running around still, and I shut the bathroom door so that I wouldn't wake Chasity up in my stupor. (I tend to be clumsy early in the morning) I forgot something to tie my hair back with and went back to my room to get it - past Dianna's - and noticed she hadn't come back upstairs yet and thought it was odd that she was down there for so long, but again I was half awake, so I didn't think too long on that thought.

I shut the bathroom door again and began running the hot water to wash my face... I heard some odd sounds that sounded like moaning and then our dogs started to bark like crazy because the baby gate was keeping them from getting downstairs.  About mid-stream of washing the cleanser off of my face I hear my mom SCREAMING my name. I grabbed the hand towel opened the door and yelled "what?" back to her. She said (which will forever be haunting words for me to hear) "Call 911!"

Talk about coming out of a stupor quickly. I think this was the first time I've had a TRUE adrenaline rush.  Something that causes you to move, speak and do without you even thinking.  I didn't think twice or hesitate and I grabbed the phone and dialed 911. 
"911 dispatcher, does your emergancy require ambulance, or fire truck?"
"Ambulance!"
"and can you explain to me the situation?"
as I fumbled down the steps so fast I couldn't believe I didn't fall. "I am not sure, my sister was going to the bathroom and now she is laying on the floor not responding to us."
"how old is she?"
"21"
Tell them she's pregnant
"and she's pregnant. she was just discharged from women's and babies hospital. they were treating her for walking pnemonia"  (I probably didn't say it that calmly - I remember yelling alot)
Her eyes are fixed. She's not responding to me, she's barely breathing (as mom proceeds to yell her name)
"She's hardly breathing and her eyes are fixed, as if she's having a seizure."
She's turning white
"She's not responding and turning white, she's barely breathing."
She stopped breathing! Dianna! Dianna! Stay with me! Its mom! Stay with me!
"She stopped breathing!!! Where is the ambulance!?" (I was really scared and yelling alot at this point)

At this point, I don't remember much more of the conversation with the dispatcher except for the occasional - where is the ambulance outbursts. Althougt she did a good job at remaining calm with me on the phone.

Dianna's face turned completely blue - her heart stopped beating and my mom immediately started doing CPR.  Her eyes were glassy and were fixed straight above on the ceiling.  WORST EXPERIENCE IN MY LIFE EVER.  I felt like I was going to throw up as my mom was doing CPR - so many emotions flowing through me - along with the adrenaline.  She had medically died.  Right there on our floor just outside the bathroom. I was so stunned I couldn't even pray. I was still on the phone with the dispatcher - cause they really don't hang up until help is there and I heard her say those blissful words "they should be pulling in right now."  I screamed to my mom "the ambulance is here!" and ran to the front door to let them in and direct them where to go. "Hurry! She's downstairs, she's not breathing or has a heartbeat!"

From there, the dispatcher let me go and the dogs barking when the ambulance arrived had woken up Chasity (amazing she slept through the whole ordeal - blessing #4) - so I immediately ran upstairs to get her as I hoped the paramedics could resuscitate Dianna. A whole crew of medical help flooded inside - and flashing vehicles lined up outside our house.

I didn't want Chasity to see Dianna like that, or she was certain to be upset, so I got her to focus on the emergancy vehicles outside with all their "pretty lights" as I could hear things frantically happening downstairs.

Finally I heard them say they got her heart going again and that they were on their way into the hospital. I watched them as they rolled her out on the gurney through the garage door and noticed they were breathing for her.

My mom flew up the stairs to get dressed (cause remember, we were getting ready for work - both of us were still in our pajamas).  She was going to follow the ambulance into the hospital - since she wasn't ready to walk out the door.

There are so many more details I could tell you - but short version - it was immediately quiet after they all left (and mind you - this all happened at 6:30 in the morning) so life was just "waking up" and getting ready for the day around us.

I. was. shaking. adrenenline was wearing off and I thought I was going to pass out.

Thankfully - God has surrounded me with an amazing church family and friends who are believers - I contacted them via text message to ask for prayers - because I was so shook up/stunned/frozen with emotion that I didn't know how to pray.  It was in my heart and head - it just wouldn't come out.

After they left, I didn't know what was happening - and so I asked my aunt who lived close by to come over and be with me. Finally after caring for my niece (who obviously knew something was going on) - we packed up the car, with my other aunt who came over and we went into the hospital.

On the way there my step brother called me "get here now, they are giving her the last resort!" "what?" "They are giving her the last resort - of medication".  I couldn't talk to him cause I felt like I was going to throw up again, so I hung up on him. We were also pulling into the parking garage at that time. Shaking - I made my way up to the ICU and found her room.  Different family members gathered around - and me demanding to know what was going on.   She wasn't responding well to treatment - and not breathing on her own - and suddenly her blood pressure dropped.  So they gave her the "last resort". If this special medication - that they hate giving to patients cause its so not the safest - didn't do anything - she wasn't going to make it.  stunned. again.  but this time - the fight in me rose - and I REFUSED TO GO TO A FUNERAL AT THE END OF THAT WEEK. refused. I didn't care how many people were allowed in her ICU room and I barged in and grabbed her hand. silently praying -cause I still didn't have words - but Rick's cousin was there praying over the end of her bed - out loud.

I then went to my mom and gave her a hug. and then the tears came. and I let loose. all the emotion that had built up came flowing out. I am not a pretty crier and I was LOUD. bawling in her ICU room - embraced in my mom's arms.  It felt so good to release the myriad of thoughts, feelings and everything flowing inside of me.

That "last resort" medication worked and her blood pressure came back up and stabilized.
 There was a series of ups and downs, but for the sake of this being long already - I will say she was breathing again on her own by the third day and started to wake up from being unconscious.  She didn't remember anybody when she first came to and went through a time of re-learning to eat and talk - but made vast improvements in a short period of time.  One of her doctors (cause she had a specialist for everything) even got teary-eyed and stated that she was a miracle that she had survived. I am not sure of his beliefs, but I know for a fact the the Lord has a great plan for her and will use her in the future.

She is not the same person. She is a stronger, sweeter, wiser women and I am excited to grow with her and pour into her spiritually.

Oh - and remember she was pregnant? Yeah - miracle #2 - she survived!  Her name is Elliana Angel Grace and due to arrive January 18th, 2012. I can't wait to meet her and pour into her life as well.

God is good, alive and still performing miracles today folks. There's so much more to this story- but it will have to be in a separate post. 

Jesus is alive and desires your heart. Let Him in. Life is short. Life is Precious. 

Photo shoot with Nicola Herring. I introduced Dianna as the "walking miracle"

Fresh Start

So, last Monday I posted on facebook "I like Mondays... weird? I know."  yep, you read that right. I like Mondays.  I got some interesting responses as I thought I would - but surprised I didn't get any negative. One friend told me I should see a doctor about that... which made me laugh.

I know for most people, they get that "sick tummy dread" on sunday nights prior to going to bed. Cause they're totally not looking forward to going to work the next day.

But Monday's are a fresh start. for me anyways. I guess to each his own, but I view it as another day/week to make a difference in this world.  A new week to progress further - in your career, your relationships - and most importantly spiritually.  When you are chasing after things that are worthy of your time and energy - it is satisfying getting up - get going and seeing what the Lord holds for you that day. 

Truth be told - I haven't always had that attitude - but this past year has been an interesting one - life lessons learned and moments I never want to repeat.  But through it all - God has revealed to me time and time again His LOVE,  His GRACE and PRESENCE. He truly has a plan for each one of us - and I've learned lots of faith lessons - that I should go back and write down to share the stories of His glory.  But I've learned to step back and take ONE DAY AT A TIME - especially after my sister almost died.  I had to - mentally couldn't handle thinking a few hours ahead even in the same day.

But back to what I was saying - He has blessed me with an incredible career opportunity to which I am super thankful for.  Which has allowed me to look forward to going to work - cause I am passionate about it.  So get passionate about something - and maybe you'll start to like Monday's too.

3rd Decade of my life starts right. now.

So, today I hit a new decade. And I have to be honest - at first - I was not excited about no longer being in my twenties. Not at all. In fact, I decided I wasn't going to think about it anymore until it got closer to the time. Someone even tried to cheer me up by letting me know that 30 is the new 20. :)  And then eventually - something shifted. I venture to say that it was my time spent with the Lord, and the more I pressed into Him - the more blessings around me started to be revealed. And eventually I realized that even though my twenties were rough at times. . . and even my teens (which is a long story for a different time) - that my life was finally starting to "come together". In the sense that I was walking on solid ground. I will spare you the details - but basically - I have build my house on solid rock.  My foundation is firm and when I look to Jesus I realize my 30's are going to be some of my best years yet!  Not necessarily easy or a cake walk - I may be in a position of strength in many area's of my life now - but that doesn't mean hardship won't come my way. But man - more than ever am I in Love with Jesus - and so looking forward to what He has in store for me this next decade. Many people thought the world was going to end May 21st because of a guy who was obsessed with numerology... I lean towards false prophet - but I do feel bad for him, because he is so sucked into the lies that he really believes he has it figured out.  The enemy has him so distracted with figuring it out - He is no longer (or never was really) in a pursuit of God's heart.  But anyhow - my point in saying that is - while people were frantic about judgement day coming - I continually had a peace. A peace that definitely passed all understanding and so I was careful of how I approached that subject with believer's and unbelievers. and oddly enough - it was always easier to talk to the unbelievers about the future of our world. but my point is - my birthday was approaching - and I knew in my heart of hearts - that God still has great plans for me. Plans to bring healing to many many people that I come in contact with everyday. I knew in my heart of hearts that 30 and beyond are going to be some of my most glorifying to God years.  And so - I'm jacked.

In the past couple of weeks God has already brought 4 new friendships into my life - that I am looking forward to nurturing and getting to know. Some single. Some married... it doesn't matter. They all need the love of Christ. I have been blessed by all of them - and I am sure there is going to be many memories made in the future with them. Celebrating marriages, kids, jobs, life... etc.

But today - I spend the day with an old friend. We were friends in high school - but actually became closer during college - even though we didn't go to the same school. (she went to messiah - I went to pbu) And ever since we've been best friends. Our lives took different directions - but we still remained close and in touch. And for her 30th birthday - we went to NYC (which was in december - right before new years eve - yeah it was crowded and cold!) So for my birthday we were going to go up again - when it was warm.  I even invited a bunch of other friends - however, it didn't work for anyone to go. I admit - I was really disappointed at first. But honestly - it became a blessing to just stay home and hang out.  I had been going so hard day after day for two weeks prior that it was great just being able to catch up on  some sleep and just rest. I also in a turn of events, last minute found out I would get to have my niece. What a privilege. I love her as if she were my own and to spend my special day with her as well was such a blessing. My friend Kristin (along with her daughter) took me out for lunch - we had hibachi (my first time), went to the grocery store to get stuff to make sangria's, played outside in the baby pool (the girls, not us), had dinner, watched a movie and painted our nails. We had a fabulous day!  Some would say thats not very exciting way to spend it -- but I think relationships and spending time with the ones you love is one of the most precious gifts. Time is something you can never get more of. You can always have more clothes, make more money, see more movies - but you will never get back your time. You will never get back the last however many minutes it took you to read this. Its precious. So to me - I had a fabulous day.  Here are a few pics of us ringing in a new decade in my life.  Enjoy!

Heavenly Perspective on Earthly Ideas

So, while driving to work this morning I was listening to a sermon about living with eternity in mind. The pastor was speaking about how we as Americans have gotten away from this - because its so easy to be comfortable in our country in this day and age. Many of us take freedom for granted, chasing after the "American Dream" - to get the white picket fence, fancy cars, big house and lots of cash in the bank.  Many things he said struck me and I will definitely be studying and listening to his message again.  Anyways, I was thinking for some reason about traveling... how I'd love to see all of the great places He has created on this earth - the clear blue water, the beaches the mountains - everything. For no particular reason at all, but while thinking that - He clearly said to me: "Kristi, Heaven is a reflection of the earth but without all the sin and pain.  You have all of eternity to explore what I've created for you.  Your time now is short, follow My will for you and you will surely enjoy "traveling" for eternity." 

Of course, anytime you hear from God you take a moment to swallow what He has said. But I immediately got it - thanks to the sermon I was listening to - that yes - my time is SHORT.  Your time is short! Because yes of course, it would take time for me to earn the money to take a nice vacation or trip to Europe - backpacking - or whatever. But during those trips - I would be seeking things to fulfill my flesh. Not really impacting anyone by becoming a tourist. Sure, I can be a good person - maybe give money to a homeless person along the way -but really - a vacation comes down to us getting all the comforts of the world and having others meet our needs during that time. Right?  wow.  What a revelation.

And then there's the fact that this goes beyond traveling. This applies in different areas of our lives as well - that the fact is - our life here on earth is gonna go by in a blink of an eye. What we do now - impacts eternity - good or bad. Are we striving for the Kingdom? Or are we striving for riches and fame?  Are we going out and adopting the orphans with our  large annual incomes, or are we going out and buying new fancy overpriced cars? Or worse yet, are we "storing" that money - hoarding in "incase" of an emergency.  Thats a whole different topic about really trusting God that I am not going to get into right now.

But do you see my point? Does anybody else feel the sense of urgency? The urgency to make Christ known in all the Nations? That His return is near? That what we have on earth - really doesn't matter?

I do want to make it clear - that yes God loves us and as His kids - He wants to bless us. Christ paid that price for us. Am I really excited for my Kindle to arrive? You bet. Will my next car be brand new cause I've never owned a brand new car? You bet. and I am expecting God to foot the bill (meaning pay for it in cash) because he supplies all of our needs.  But before you go throwing stones - please realize that if someone put a gun to my head because they wanted my car or my kindle - I would gladly give it to them to spare my life.  Because those are just THINGS. But if someone wanted to take my life because I profess Jesus as my Lord - I would gladly give it to them. Well, maybe not gladly or easily - but I won't be losing anything if I do. [For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. Matthew 6:21]

Life is so much more on the other side of this life, and what we are doing right here and now should be working towards reaching those who don't already know Christ.

I believe Heaven is when we rest.

Growth Spurt

So, I have been slacking on the blog arena... so here is a long overdue update:

As you might know from reading previous entries, I have been desiring more out of life for quite some time... and not in the sense of money - or a husband  - or kids or a house or cars - or things that most people put value on. But my heart has been growing and busting at the seems to DO HIS WILL for my life.  I have come to the point where I feel like I am gonna burst if I don't start doing something everyday that is for the Kingdom.  Working to simply pay bills is becoming old.  Understand - that I don't hate my job... but what I do is not glorifying God nor is it building the Kingdom -- and that is literally making my heart ache. 

I have asked God to give me a passion - and I think over this past year and a half he has been chipping away the rough edges around me and working on my heart...(there's so many more rough edges that need to come off, so I am bracing for some more changes) bringing me to this point of desiring Him so much.  I did not arrive at this point easily --- but I will say I truly could pick up and leave if He told me to pack my bags tomorrow. Or not even pack my bags - just go.   He has changed my heart so much - that I really don't care about "beauty and riches"... of course I like to look nice, read Instyle Magazine and hope to get a decent car in the near future - but those are just things.  I can't take them to Heaven and my trust and love and value is not placed on those things.   The enemy has tried to destroy me through my finances... and I am in the process of walking out my Victory over him --- but through that I've learned ALOT about what is truly important... and alot of how to Trust God by Tithing - its amazing what He will do and can do for you when you put Him first with that dirty green piece of paper we call money.

So anyways - I've been having a serious Spiritual growth spurt these days - and my heart aches for more... it aches to do great things. 

And so - I think after all of this - I am to write a book. I don't know what the title will be or the direction its supposed to go - but I am realizing that I am really good at putting my thoughts into words and expressing the Truth.   Recently (over the past several months) I've had random people email me on facebook (and here on my blog) - just to tell me that my status/blog updates are so encouraging to them and thanking me for sharing... that has spurred my passion.  To reach the people who already call themselves Christians and remind them that Christ didn't die just to save them from hell. He died to give them a life of Victory.  The Bible is full of His promises and I've experienced so many lately.  His love is amazing... chase after Him and everything else will be added unto you. [matt 6:33]

I do have a request though - because I am just as human as the next person. My life is not perfect and there are distractions and responsibilities that fill my time...  So I ask if you would partner with me in prayer?  My request is that IF you think of me (and when you do) that you'll just stop and say a quick prayer for me.  I am realizing I need to sit my butt down and write. Just start writing and let God do the rest. Pray that I will get focused and stay focused... and to write whether my flesh is "feeling" like it or not.  I don't want to waste this passion thats inside of me.  I don't want to waste this time He's given me... He's called each of us and I don't want to disappoint Him.

Thanks in advance for your prayers!