11:11

11:11

For months - I saw (and still do) see 11:11 on the clock. EVERY time I checked the time. Morning or night - it was 11:11. Crazy, right? Why on earth did I keep seeing 11:11? I prayed about it. Searched the word. Prayed some more. Randomly brought it up to some friends to see if they had any revelation - but I got nothing. And the more I pondered it the more I thought maybe it means something is going to happen in November?  On November 11th maybe? I quickly pulled up the calendar on my phone to see what day of the week it is - hmm, thats a monday, can't be anything special happening on a monday, right? 

Time continued to pass by (no pun intended) and I continued to see 11:11 on the clock. Never failed. every day - check the time, yep. its 11:11. (by now one would ask why I would bother to check the clock cause I would know its 11:11, no need to look, right?) haha. 

Meanwhile - as I didn't get any great revelation from the Lord about 11:11, I was sensing Him calling me to Him. As in, giving my full attention to Him so that I can realize just how much He fully loves me. (bear with me) I was lamenting to the Father quite often, "why can't I be married? where is my husband? You know I want kids... why aren't relationships developing the way I want them to, or the way I thought they were going to? blah blah blah... I just wanna be loved."  and thats where He stopped me. "But Kristi, you ARE loved. I love you more than you can imagine. Let me show you".  Stunned. I just stopped, and pondered those words let me show you. let me SHOW you.
Show me? How was He going to show me? Now, let me just stop and say that I have experienced God's love MANY MANY times - and that this concept of showing me His love is not foreign to me. So, I thought that this wasn't something new I needed to experience - if that makes sense, so I was a tad taken aback.  Hesitantly responding I said "okay Lord, show me. I want to experience you in a new way".

Also during this time, I changed jobs; moved; took on more responsibility at church by overseeing a team of sunday school teachers (which entails, meetings, organizing, contacting/scheduling...); was finishing up semester 3 of our church's discipleship process; had photoshoots almost every weekend and a ton of editing to do (and still do), and meeting up with people on a regular basis as I was selling off the "extry" of things I accumulated in my house. so basically - I was busy. Not to mention every moment of "down time" or even while *gasp* driving (I know I know), I was on facebook.  Leaving NO ROOM for the Father to spend time with me. Or me even asking to spend time with Him.  so I wasn't letting Him show me at all.

I decided (and it was confirmed with nudges from the Holy Spirit) that I needed to let go of some things in my world. We don't have cable in my new house - so letting go of tv (which was usually just background noise for me anyways) wasn't going to be hard to do. but letting go of facebook was.  and He gently said "how bad do you want to know me? is facebook more important?"  so I began mulling over the idea of taking a hiatus, and the more I mulled the more it actually became  a "releasing" emotion... of something I don't have to check everyday. the more I just became "okay" with it. and now I am at the point of "okay, lets just shut this thing down already".  at the same time my thought process was shifting, I was contemplating what else I can let go of - while also being asked to take on more (working PT for a nonprofit, investing in properties...) which was counteracting anything I let go of.

One day I was listening to Air1 at work and their "behind the music" came on and were taking about Thousand Foot Krutch's new song "So Far Gone".  and how the lead singer wrote this as a love song to Jesus. Its a worship song, but its also a raw love song to HIM.   I paused what I was doing at work and thought about that for a bit. and then decided the next time I heard it I was really going to listen to the lyrics.  Sure enough, it gripped me. Hard.  and I proceeded to buy the song through itunes on my phone. (listen to it here) For several days (and still) I have kept it on repeat... just letting the words sink in and really talking to the Father - I want to be so far gone in YOU. I wanna get lost in You ...like a ship in the night. My heart grew. His love penetrating deep within.  and my desire to "unplug" even greater.

I thought it was wise to announce that I was taking a break from fb because of my photography business, and several communications I had going on through my account. And I appreciate everyones concern - as I started to get messages asking if I was okay - and whats going on, and why aren't you doing newborns anymore (which has been a long decision in the making and the timing just seemed to be appropriate for now).   I want to assure you though - that I am fine. and my heart LONGS to be with Jesus. more than it ever has before. and I need this time away from the cyber world most of us live in to really take in and soak in His love.  This is a season. I know it in my spirit - that this is only a season - but a season of LOVE and a journey He wants to take me on.

so what does 11:11 have to do with it? yeah, I was wondering that too. One of our pastors sent an email to the discipleship crew with an encouraging message recently and I replied thanking him for sharing his "mini sermon". and then decided to ask if he had any prophetic revelation on the fact that I kept seeing 11:11.   He said that when he kept seeing those digits, the word alignment came to mind. ALIGNMENT.  right there it is folks. all the one's lined up side by side "perfectly aligned". and he continued to say, the Lord is most likely trying to bring you into a season of alignment with Him.  Well, hello!  YES HE IS.

Alignment was the word I was looking for:

a·lign·ment

  [uh-lahyn-muhnt] 

noun

1.

a state of agreement or cooperation among persons, groups, nations, etc., with a common cause or viewpoint.

And here's the thing. sometimes my heart fills up so much that its going to burst if I don't share whats going on inside and what the Lord is speaking to me... so I am SURE I will be documenting what I am learning (and other random things) and hope it brings encouragement to you.  so be sure to follow if you want to occasionally hear from me.  :)

thanks for taking the time to read - blessings!